Step 3: Dress Like a Thin Person: Look Good, Feel Good

Respect yourself and those around you, and dress nicely, no matter what your current size.

Have you ever woken up feeling dreary, but had to dress nicely and go somewhere anyway? Or have you ever had a bad hair day and because your hair wouldn't behave you chose to wear an unattractive old outfit you didn't particularly like? Those days happen to all of us, and the choice you make about what to wear can affect how you feel for the whole day. If you dress in something old and frumpy, you feel old and frumpy all day, and you behavior will often reflect discomfort and a lack of self-respect. However, if you have to dress nicely, you often find yourself forgetting about feeling dreary or about the bad hair day, and having a very nice day anyway. Attitude is profoundly affected by appearance. If you are unhappy with your appearance and you choose to try to hide behind sloppy clothes, dull colors, and frumpy styles, you'll remain discouraged and continue to feel unworthy of paying attention to what you eat. If you encourage yourself by wearing simple, well-cut styles in becoming colors, you'll feel prettier and be encouraged to stand up straight and look your best. Whenever I have a "fat day" or a bad hair day, I've learned to wear something I really like, rather than something ugly. Unless I call attention to the fact that I feel unattractive, other people won't think about it-- they're too busy worrying about their own fat day!

How to Dress Thin

No matter what your size or budget, I'd like to encourage you to think carefully from now on about the clothes you choose. If you have a husband and children, decide that you're going to be as pretty as you can be for them-- they'll appreciate it. Even if you're not the size you'd like to be, you need to have enough self-respect to look your best wherever you are. Once you start making changes in your eating life, you'll realize that you can reach your ideal size (as long as it's realistic) some day, and one of the best ways to encourage yourself to focus on getting there is to begin dressing like the person you'd like to be. Remember, "As a man (or woman) thinks in [her] heart, so is she" (Proverbs 23:7).

There are several things to consider when you think about dressing attractively.

Color: What are your favorite colors, and what colors look best on you? If you don't know, take a friend whose taste you trust to a fabric store and spend some time holding bolts of colors near your face to see which make you glow. You may look beautiful in chocolate brown, but washed out in black, or you may look striking in black and fade away in beige. The book Color Me Beautiful and its many spin-offs has great deal of information on choosing colors that look lovely with your skin, hair, and eyes.

Favorites: What items do you have in your wardrobe that make you feel great? If you have garments you love, pull them out and figure out what it is that makes the item work. Is it the fit, color, shape, length, fabric, texture, or everything together? When I did this, I found that I loved anything with 3/4 quarter sleeves, especially my black cashmere cardigan, which seemed to make any outfit more special. Now that I know what I like, I always choose 3/4 sleeves when there's a choice, and I've added 3/4 sleeve cardigans in other colors to brighten my wardrobe.

Your Lifestyle: Do you spend most of your days home with the children? If so, you proably need comfortable, casual separates in attractive colors. If you work, or are out a lot on errands, you'll need hard-working pieces that coordinate. If you choose things in a limited color palette (more on choosing colors for a Foundation Wardrobe on the Clothing page), you'll have a lot of fun opening a closet in which almost anything can be worn together.

A story about thrift store rejects: Long ago, I used to keep all sorts of tacky things to wear around the house until I realized that the most important people in my world (my husband and children) never got to see me looking nice. I decided to be more thoughtful of them and was making a pile of all the ugly stuff for the thrift store when my husband walked by and asked what I was doing. When I told him, he gently suggested that I just donate a couple of pieces for the cat's bed and toss the rest, commenting "I'm pretty sure GoodWill couldn't sell any of that stuff." That told me that I was doing the right thing in getting rid of unattractive things! I still wear thrift store clothes, but they're not thrift store rejects, and they fit into my overall wardrobe plan.

Your Shape: You probably know how your body is proportioned, but you may not know how to visually balance trouble zones. I'll add more about this later, but there are many good books that can help you learn the basic principles.

Your Budget: You can look attractive on a very small budget. Looking nice is not a reflection of how many things you own, but rather a reflection of how well you wear what you have. If you're on a tight budget, it's doubly important to know what you need and want, and to wait for it. If you have an ample budget, the best thing I can recommend is to make an appointment with a personal stylist at Nordstrom and tell her about your life and what you need, then plan to go in and spend a half day trying on wonderful things. It's pure luxury to have someone choose perfectly coordinated items for you, and you purchase only what you really need. It can be a huge help in getting you out of a frumpy rut!

The skinny skirts: When I finally got ready to lose my "baby weight" (baby was getting ready to turn 11, so it was about time), I didn't have much of a budget at all. I bought two identical straight black skirts at Walmart in the size I currently wore, and started wearing them with black or burgundy t-shirts (not tucked in-- tucking things in and elastic waists made me look like a sack of potatoes), and pretty scarves. I called them my "skinny skirts" and they made me feel as though I was making progress. They also encouraged good posture, which is an important part of looking nice. The skinny skirts lasted through the weight loss process, and as the t-shirts got baggy, I just belted them to fit. It was very cheap, but I got a lot of compliments because black was a good color on me, and the scarves were colorful and attractive. You could do the same thing with a single solid neutral-color bottom in any becoming style-- it doesn't have to be straight skirt. The point is to wear something that isn't sloppy, ill-fitting, or unattractive.

The Full-Length Mirror: I don't care what size you are, you need a full-length mirror. Without it, you risk wearing something that shows panty lines, bra strap rolls, your slip, and other things you'd rather not share. It's best to be able to take an honest look in the privacy of your own room and fix anything that is amiss before anyone sees it.

Looks aren't the most important thing in the world, but they have meaning in our lives. If you dress with self-respect, and with care for your husband and children, you'll be a lot more inclined to take your weight-loss efforts seriously. If you feel like a lump, it's very hard to believe that you're really going to lose weight and look attractive. Dressing thin is a posistive action you can begin before you lose an ounce, and it will help you begin to make the necessary internal changes. Trust me, you can do this!

Staging Your Comeback: A Complete Beauty Revival for Women Over 45 by Christopher Hopkins: This book contains the most amazing before and after photos I've ever seen. It's helpful just for the encouragement factor!

Links to all the weight-loss articles:

1. Think Like a Thin Person: Tell the Truth About Food and Eating
2. Eat Like a Thin Person: Good Food Without Compromise
3. Dress Like a Thin Person: Look Good, Feel Good

Disclaimer: I'm not a health professional, nutritionist, dietician, or weight loss specialist. I'm an ordinary person who is freely sharing my personal experiences, study, and observations about food, weight loss, diet, and weight maintenance. If you have health issues, you may wish to consult your personal specialist for advice that applies specifically to your situation. I share these things in the spirit of Titus 2-- to teach good things. Grace and peace to you, as you progress on this journey.